What about the "doer" who is retired?

As I reflect on my goals and achievements being retired, I see that I can’t evaluate my life the in the same way.  Now my goals are not so much in the doing, but in the fun of living and being there for those I love.  It is in our health and our energy and desire to continue on this path.  What is this path?  It involves freedom and relaxation, but of a different kind.  Freedom always meant to me that I could do what I wanted, now I also want a freedom to do what others want of me, some of the time anyway.  I still need a freedom to be who and what I want to be and to become.  I see that I continue to change and become in ways that I never saw for me.  Well, that is not so different from what everyone else wants...

What about relaxation?  By this, I mean, relaxation from stress and conflict.  But, isn’t that also what most people want?  I used to embrace stress and used it to accomplish more.  Now, I hide from stress and get grouchy, when it interferes with my plans.  Before, I used to think of relaxation as the time that I would sit and do nothing - like on the beach or to read a book in the middle of the day.  Now, I want to do everything relaxed - not hurry - or with a deadline.  I used to like the pressure of having to do too much.  Now I’m finally learning that I can relax in my half-finished projects because I don’t have to put a deadline on them and can just let them sit there “para mañana."  But it's not easy; a part of me still craves to work on them and to be able to finish any one of them now!  I think Yoga has helped me with this because at these times I catch myself breathing deeply :) 

Now, living a RELAXED, STRESS-FREE LIFE does not mean I want to live a SLOW LIFE.  I want my days to be full and busy, I feel lost if I am not focused, or if I just wait to see what the day will bring.  I have always been a doer and want my life to flow.  Maybe I haven’t changed so much, only now that I am retired, I am able to do more, yet not everything - because I know that “everything" will never get done.  I don’t know if that is the same for everyone, it’s not something that people talk about.  Do others have these same conflicts?  

I never did write New Year's Resolutions for 2014…  because that was always just one more thing to plan for and do, so even in April, I say, NOT YET!